Big Company Vs Local Business Advertising (Daily Ad Breakdown #9)

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In this Ad Breakdown, we have an ad for a bakery, and I have mixed feelings about this ad…

To start, the headline does not exist so we just go straight into the first paragraph. The entirety of the first line could easily be turned into a good headline. “Do You Want To Try Award Winning Pie?”

The next line doesn’t do much for the ad and that’s not ideal because after that, that’s where the ellipsis makes the reader expand the ad. If you don’t force the reader to be interested right away, they won’t be willing to expand the text and read more. I would replace this with “This week’s Award Winning Pie Is Chicken Cacciator”.

A lot of the words in the second paragraph can be removed because they do nothing. People don’t care about what competition it won, they just care that they are eating an award-winning pie. I guarantee you that no one who bought the pie knows about what pie competition it won. But I do like the description of the food so we can keep that in there.

The Call-To-Action is weak, they are just telling you to keep a lookout for the next pie of the week. You might say that the Call-To-Action is them saying “Don’t miss your chance…” but the Call-To-Action is the part that tells the reader exactly what to do. Let’s simply fix it by saying “Come by [Location] and try our Award Winning Pie!”

Honestly, this ad isn’t bad on its own only because of the reputation that the business has. If this was a local start-up, this would not work as well for them; and I would suggest going with a simpler version.

Thank you for reading daily Ad Breakdown #9 Big Company Vs Local Business Advertising